God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
