imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
