there's paper in my vomit.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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