dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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