I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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