Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
