U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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