Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
