Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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