just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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