It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Even my vagina gasped.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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