And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
