So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
