return my video game
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
