But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
