Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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