I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
