Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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