I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
