Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
