my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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