as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
