Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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