If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
