I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
