She is in my trunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
