You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
