You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
