maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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