Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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