Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
