i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
