With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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