Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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