walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just cropdusted the office
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
