I need help removing her.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
