the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
