You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
