i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
