My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
