I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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