from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
