how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
