Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
