you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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