you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
