Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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