You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
