I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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