Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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