also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
