At least make sure they are 18
Why
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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