You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
