you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
