I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
