Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
