my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
